I went to Christine's memorial service this morning at her old high school. It was good to replace the mental image of her slumped, limp and unconscious, in her car with ones of her smiling and laughing. Because so few people are left in town, only about eight of us there weren't part of the school, thus I was a front-row participant. I've never been a front-row participant in a funeral before. Yes, I did the requisite amount of crying. The song they chose to make us sing was all about God taking lambs home to Him, so I sobbed my way through it instead of singing.
Anyway, I get home and Mum tells me that another friend of mine, Keziah, was killed in a car crash last night in the UK. Her and my dad are friends with Keziah's parents, so she offered to organise a memorial service here for Kez (they used to live in Harare, so people here remember her fondly. She was, after all, a kick-ass kid). It really wasn't what I wanted to hear right after a memorial service. So, I might end up organising my first memorial service. I suppose, if I do end up doing it, it'll be good practice. I know the time's going to come when I have to organise funerals for my parents (given that this is the natural order of life), so a dress rehearsal would be a good way of grieving Kez. It's not callous to say that, is it? I'm not sure at the moment. Everything's a bit fuzzy in my head, what with all this going on. I was on top of my feelings about Christine's death, but I'm starting to lose my grip a bit after hearing about Keziah. They were both younger than me and further along in life than me (Christine was about to start her PhD [I haven't even finished undergrad yet] and Keziah was getting married in September [I know I'm too cynical to buy into the whole marriage thing, but it is a check-box on the list of things that make one a grown-up...a list that on which I haven't yet ticked any boxes])...should I stay in arrested development to avoid tempting fate to ruin it all before I'm done living?
Anyway, I get home and Mum tells me that another friend of mine, Keziah, was killed in a car crash last night in the UK. Her and my dad are friends with Keziah's parents, so she offered to organise a memorial service here for Kez (they used to live in Harare, so people here remember her fondly. She was, after all, a kick-ass kid). It really wasn't what I wanted to hear right after a memorial service. So, I might end up organising my first memorial service. I suppose, if I do end up doing it, it'll be good practice. I know the time's going to come when I have to organise funerals for my parents (given that this is the natural order of life), so a dress rehearsal would be a good way of grieving Kez. It's not callous to say that, is it? I'm not sure at the moment. Everything's a bit fuzzy in my head, what with all this going on. I was on top of my feelings about Christine's death, but I'm starting to lose my grip a bit after hearing about Keziah. They were both younger than me and further along in life than me (Christine was about to start her PhD [I haven't even finished undergrad yet] and Keziah was getting married in September [I know I'm too cynical to buy into the whole marriage thing, but it is a check-box on the list of things that make one a grown-up...a list that on which I haven't yet ticked any boxes])...should I stay in arrested development to avoid tempting fate to ruin it all before I'm done living?
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